Just Like Miss USA: Princess and the Like

First grader:  "My mom travels for her job, just like Miss USA."


This gave me the biggest smile today.  I wondered if my kids equate the work I do to being a glamorous beauty queen.  The last few years I scrubbed floors for other people....I wonder if they thought I was Cinderella?

As women, on of our core desires is to be the beautiful princess....Belle, Jasmine, even Cinderella.  A good friend of mine had the privilege to be a Miss America princess, living the secret dream we all have of the tiara, beautiful gown, and the flawless beauty that accompanies it.


To this first grader, his mom was like Miss USA.  That rocks.


I'm presently doing a study on Jonah by Priscilla Shearer.  That, in conjunction with a few other recent book studies, reinforces the fact that to the Lord, we are all that to Him.  Call it Miss American, Miss USA, or a Disney wannabee, in Him, we are beautiful, daughters of the King.  Daughters of a God who loves us so much he pursues us with passion and grace.


He adores us.  He refines us to His image, one of heavenly beauty and grace.


I don't know where these words find you, but may the God of all heavenly beauty in spirit and character engulf you, surround you, and crown you with His love and beauty.


...."to bestow upon them a crown of beauty...." Is 61:3.

French Women Don't Get Fat and other Aging Blunders

I'm not too fond of New Year's Resolutions.  I'm a no-nonsense girl - if it doesn't happen in normal life, then why should it with celebratory occasions?  So, when it comes to trying new things or recalibrating behavior, I just do it one day when I decide to.


So, as winter was approaching a month or so ago, I faced the dreaded challenge: how will I engage in healthy, active behavior this winter?   This is always a challenge for me because I hate to exercise for the sake of exercising, and I like eating just for the sake of eating, especially during the dark hours of winter.  But I am a recovered anorexic and bulimic, so eating, staying fit, and weight gain is not something I take lightly.  There always has to be a game plan.

Last spring I came across a book titled French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano.  Though I am not French, I am half Italian, so I figured if it works for French women, maybe it would work for Italian-American women.  While I only skimmed the book, I remembered Guiliano advocated that French women do not diet like American women, they simply eat healthy and stay active.  I remember she said she walks a lot of stairs.  So, in convenient laziness, my winter workout plan on the back-forty includes climbing stairs.


Not a stair-master, step or elliptical, but real stairs.  Each evening, I put on my Ipod, some old sweatpants, and start walking from the second story to the basement.  I'm beginning to like it.  I tidy up in places I don't usually get to and I actually see my teenagers a little more.


I chalk it up to creative aging.  Ten years ago I began running, and while I still do it occasionally, I'm too pooped to pound the pavement like I used to.  I wonder at the change in aging from the 30's to the 40's.  In my thirties, I visited the tanning bed. Just recently, I purchased tinted moisturizer, firming eye cream, and age spot remover. My mother recently informed me that eye lids droop when I realized my eye liner ended up on my eyelids making me look like Tammy Faye Bakker by 5:00.  I don't have to worry about dieting too much because I'm too concerned with......well, let's just say I eat salad for fiber, not the calorie count.

My daughter thinks I'm loosing it.  If she only knew. I used to tell her it's painful to be beautiful.  Now it's just time-consuming to simply look your age. I sleep more and drop things a lot more.  What's up with that?  The last time I did that I was pregnant.  Yikes!  That's a scary thought.


I was in Italy a few years ago.  Italian women aren't fat either.  I bet it's all that Mediterranean cooking.  Shoot.  That's one more time consuming thing I need to figure out how to do in farm country where store shelves are plentiful with grain fed beef and Amish noodles.  Trips to Walmart to be healthy. Now that's an oxymoron.


Tonight, I am sitting here empathizing with our diaper dog.....our family pet who is in heat, thus wearing a diaper apparatus for the week.  Her awkwardness-disgusting factor is fairly high.  So is mine on certain days. Reminiscent of some junior high years if I remember right.


I'm going to write a new book - Italian Women in Rural America Age Gracefully.  At least that's my goal. I don't know if I'll succeed or not, but it's worth a try.


Grace trumps beauty at this stage.  I'm too pooped to endure pain.


I'd love for you to visit my friend's new blog about aging, life, and womanhood - Approaching the Vintage Years...her creativity and honesty about aging is right up my alley. Good stuff   approachingthevintageyears.blogspot.com


So as a graceful Italian woman, I'll say, Ciao!.....before I hit the late night snacks......

Obedience in a New Year

" He directed two of his disciples, 'Go into the city.  A man will be carrying a water jug will meet you.  Follow him.  Ask the owner of whichever house he enters, "The Teacher wants to know where is my guest room where I can eat the Passover with my disciples?"  He will show you a spacious, second-story room, swept and ready.  Prepare for us there.' 


The disciples left, came to the city, found everything just as he had told them..."  Mark 14:13-16 (MSG)

As I read the familiar story of the night of Jesus' betrayal, this portion struck me with relevance as we approach the beginning of a new year. 


Twice Jesus gave the disciples specific instruction on what to do in preparing the way for Him (first with the colt, now with the upper room).


Jesus did not speak in parables this time, but gave clear, concise instructions.  As the disciples obeyed in simplicity, they found it just as He said.  


I wonder what would happen if we obeyed the Father just as simply as He prepares the way for His work in our lives as a New Year approaches.

Do we expect Him to speak as clearly?

Would we obey in simple faith like the disciples?

Do we anticipate He still knows, speaks, and commands us in such ways?

I'm challenged by this.  For many, the New Year brings questions, anticipation, fear and doubt.

A young cousin of mine, serving in ministry, recently diagnosed with late stage, inoperable cancer.

Another young family whose father passed away from cancer just weeks ago.

Myself, knowing I'll be unemployed in just a few short weeks.

Yours.....fill in the blank.

Just as Jesus knew the precise details of what was ahead for Him, so He also knows the details ahead of us.  If we listen carefully, He still gives precise details for the next step.

Obey.

We often don't hear him give as many details as He did for the disciples, which is probably our hang up.  We want to see the full year laid out.  We want to know the outcome. Now.  It makes it easier to obey.


But He is still the same Savior.  The same Messiah.  We just got done celebrating the miracles of His birth and yet already we are stuck in the "what if's."


If we follow Jesus' obedience later in the chapter, we see Jesus himself knowing what the course ahead was and asked the Father to take Him out of it.

And yet He obeyed. 

As I approach the New Year, I want to be like the disciples and obey in simple obedience.

Yet, even more, I want to be like my Savior and obey, even when it is hurts. 

"But please, not what I want - what do you want?"  Mark 14:37 (MSG)

Blessings to you as we celebrate a Savior who did not stay in the manger, but prepares the way for us.

Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, decisions.  

While the phrase is cliche, to say the least, 

decisions can stump us, frustrate us, 

and bring stress we would just rather do without. 

They bring change, adjustment, and the unknown.

This week, I'll be rejoining the workforce full-time after a 3 1/2 year hiatus.  While I'm resting in this decision, a host of other decisions come in the wake of "the big one." 

 Decisions that determine peace in my body, soul, and spirit.  

What will have to give?

As a wife and mother of four,
 I can run an extremely smooth household and work full-time at a career. 
 I did it before, and I can do it again.  
But in the wake of "the smooth and orderly" for everyone involved, there was personal loss of soul and spirit. 
 I'm honest here.  
Those women who can bring home the bacon, 
fry it up in the pan, 
and never let their husbands forget-their-a-man 
just don't live in my house. 

 I can probably do it all, but I get tired.

In contemplating a new schedule, 
there are several casseroles in our freezer.
  Appointments have been scheduled after school hours.  
But I'm wondering, where will my time for the Lord be, 
and what about exercise, eating right,
 and that whole "make your husband feel like a man" stuff?

One thing I can't afford to lose is alone time with God. 
 Over the last three years, I've been able to spent quality time with the King of the Universe that has ordered my days, changed my perspective, and given life to weary bones. I'm praying time to strengthen weary bones will stretch the rest of the time left.


  Kind of like first-fruits giving or something like that.  
A sense of tithing time, similar to tithing financially.

I often feel like a wimp when it comes to a full-time career path. 
 I look around at other women and they do it so well. 
 I look at my own efforts and see "F" for failure at times. 

 Failure to balance it all perfectly. 

 Failure to not get everything done and not be exhausted.  Failure to not be content in busyness.  

Or perhaps it's failure to not live up to the expectations we have of ourselves, or society has for women.  

So, as I make decisions in the next week of what will give and what will remain, I rest in the hope that time spent with my Savior will shed new light on expectations He has of me, and not others.

For every woman who struggles with these decisions, 
only He can guide our steps.

"Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path"  Psalm 119:105

May God illuminate the lamp........even at 5:30 am.

He Who Began a Good Work

"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on until the day of completion in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 1:6


This verse went over and over in my mind the other day as I sat with someone who had screwed up.  I ached for them because I know about screwing up.  As a teenager and even an adult, there have been several times when I have been in deep need of a rewind button.  Sitting with yourself knowing you've made mistakes is not an encouraging place to be.


As a began to pray for this person, a song by Steve Green kept playing in my head, and it brought Phil. 1:6 to mind.  I prayed this promise over this person, declaring the hope that while confession, forgiveness and repentance are necessary in moving past screw ups, the hope lies in Paul's words.

The God of Heaven began a good work in you.

He is continuing to do it

He is still in the process of doing it

And He will continue to do it 

until you meet Jesus.

He is working good in you, today.

Maybe you needed to hear that today, too.  I know I do.  Being reminded of screw ups and good works has been a good reminder this week of just how human we are, and how great our God is.

Steve Green - He Who Began a Good Work in You.

The Blessing of Rebuilding

I'm just a natural history geek.  I like reading about the past, and I love family genealogy.  I'm the geeky one who  knows more about my husband's family history than he does because I curl up with family records for the midnight read.

I'm weird that way.

But it also gives me a different perspective as I read biblical lineage like that found in Ezra Chapter 2.

Listed here are the families coming back to rebuild the temple.  Ancestors of the "chosen ones" who had  screwed up, lost their homes, and were overtaken and dispersed into enemy territory.  Years later, at an invitation, individual families chose to go back to their roots. To rebuild what the Lord had ordained for them.  To reclaim the favor and promises the Lord of their fathers had given.

God is a God of promises. God is the Lord of families. It's not rocket science to look around and see that families in our midst, perhaps even our own, are broken and chinked, not living in the blessing and promises the Lord intends.

For the Israelite families, it began with a choice.  Individual people made choices for their family contrary to the goodness God had planned for them.  Over time, generation after generation, those choices resulted in devastation.  But God had a plan for redemption.  He had a plan to rebuild.  He gave an invitation to claim the promise and blessing that was still available to those willing to return to His honor.

The same is true today.  I can only speak for myself.  I've screwed up as a parent often enough.  I've lived broken behind the picket fence wondering if there was any hope for goodness, laughter, and joy again.  I've sat in desperate moments, realizing my choices were manifesting pain for others.

Could there possibly be hope to rebuild?

I remember the day the Lord made it clear to me I had a choice to choose Him or plunge my family into complete brokenness.

That day, I chose God.

The thing that humbled me the most was that God loved me enough to pursue me, drawing a line in the sand, giving me a wake up call that I had to answer to.

Just like He did these for the Ezra 2 families.  He gave them and their predecessor choices.  The fathers chose to walk away from their God.  But He pursued their children and said, "I have a home for you.  We will rebuild, if you come."

And now these families' names are written in His Holy Word as a testimony of His grace, of rebuilding, of hope despite how scattered they were away from His will.

God is the Creator of families.
He is the Rebuilder of families.
He is the Hope and the Promise of families.
He is the Redeemer of Years.

This summer, our family went on what might be our last family vacation.  It was the most magical time I've experienced.  There was one moment in time, watching my kids in a particular place where the reality of the Rebuilding came home to me in such fullness. It was if the Lord, in one second, replaced all the pain with such a presence of Himself and His goodness.  He whispered to me, "It's done."  It was His confirmation that the Rebuilding was complete.

What a legacy the names of these Ezra 2 families give of hope and a future.
What a blessing obedience brings when we choose God.
What a joy to experience the the tangible presence of a redeemer God who loves us enough to pursue us, who gives us the tools to rebuild.

Whereever this post finds you today, I encourage you to choose Life, to choose Hope, to begin the journey to rebuild if needed.  The Blessing outweighs all the pain.

This song, The Blessing, says it all.

Joel 2:25, "I will repay the years the locusts have eaten."

Lies or Truth

"It was a lie...."

This statement was one of the first encounters in grad school throwing me for a loop. People talking about lies and truth so confidently.  How could someone talk about lies so confidently?  I mean, how does one discern "a lie?"

Then I learned "lies" have big, fancy names called "cognitive distortions." 

 I also learned I knew them all too well.

Somewhere in the psyche or socialization of women, we pick up distorted truths. It usually begins in adolescence, if not before.

You're fat.

You're ugly.

Who would want you?

Your value is in what you look like.

It's your fault.

You're unlovable.

You're nothing without a boyfriend.

If only I were prettier, life would be better

And the list goes on.

No wonder I questioned my friend who seemed so confident in calling lies "Lies."  The only lies I identified before were things I knew were not true based on fact.

But the more I acknowledge cognitive distortions, the more I realize things we think are true are often distorted truths of  reality.  In the Christian realm, we often identify these as lies of the enemy.

Lies the enemy whispers in our ears.  Lies we believe because we often don't hear the truth that counteracts them

You are beautiful the way you are.

There is nothing you need to change in order to be loved.

You do not deserve to be disrespected.

Your value is found in the Lord, not in a man or children.

And the list goes on. 

Counteracted truth can best be found in the Word of the Living God.

As I've combated lies the enemy has thrown my way since childhood, I've come to know the Word of God is the only source I can stand on.  As a young girl trying to overcome an eating disorder, therapy didn't "fix" my problem.  My parents, boyfriend-husband didn't fix it, only the Word of God becoming truth to me gave me hope and perspective for a problem no one seemed to understand or give words of healing to.

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.  I Corinthians 10:23

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful.  He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.  I Corinthians 10:13.


These were two truths that became real to me, counteracting lies that yelled nothing but despair, lack of hope, shame, and self-loathing.

The lie said since there was nothing in me that was lovable, I needed to be perfect.

The lie said since I wasn't pretty, I had to be thin to avoid rejection.

The lie said I wasn't good enough.

The truth said God would provide a way out.  One night He did.  I ate, didn't purge, and fell asleep. I woke up and my day went on as usual.  As I interacted with others, people did not turn me away in disgust.  They didn't reject me because I allowed food to remain in my body.  People didn't reject me because of how I looked.

God's truth was He would provide a way out, and He did.

Lies counter-acted with truth.  

And the the first step to healing began.

I don't know what lies are whispered in your ears, but we have confidence in calling lies what they are: Untruths.  

False reports.

Deception from the enemy.

And the more we are in His word, the easier it becomes to identify lies for what they are, replacing them with truth.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!  1 John 3:1

Just one truth to tuck away for when the lies begin to linger around our ears. 

We are lavishly loved as daughters of the Most High God.

The greatest truth Today.

Seriously. 

(No lie.)